What’s this amazing looking human being doing at the top of my journal entry?
Hold that thought . . .
4am Friday. Every time I think about the premise of my posts this month – Thanksgiving (as in gratitude, not as in Turkeys) – that song from “The Sound of Music” starts running in my mind. The one about rain drops on roses – blah! And it annoys the hell out of me. There’s a time and a place for that song – but as a theme song for my November, it really doesn’t fit. Note to self: find proper theme song for giving thanks.
Yeah. 4am. “4am – Yee-aaaaaaa-uh!” Read sarcasm. It’s just that I’d gotten in the habit of sleeping right about now.
One of my favorite teachers, Wayne Dyer, (so grateful for him!) talks about (completely paraphrasing here) how the reason why we wake up around this time of the morning (some of us call it insomnia) is because these quiet morning hours – when we’ve just had some restful sleep – provide the perfect sanctuary for our writing, meditation & prayer. My interpretation of what I’ve heard him say is that it’s as if these hours (4am-5am, what’s early to you?) are optimal for entering into a deliberate relationship with the divine. And that if we can fight the urge to toss and turn, if we can get up – and be awake (Wake up!) it can cause a waking of our consciousness. An awakening to our deeper (divinely chosen) purpose. Now my theme song sounds like a bamboo flute with wind chime accompaniment – blah again! Can you hear it? Ick.
Come to think of it, this whole theme-song-on-the brain thing is actually a really good metaphor for how I feel about my identity. This morning I’ve nixed the Pollyanna vibe of ” . . . whiskers on kittens . . .” (even though they’re SoVeryCute! And I rweally am vw-ery gw-ateful for the wittle kitties.) And now I’m nixing the Mother Earth Sounds of hoodle-hee-hoo Ocean Waves & Sitar with Chanting. (Guilty as charged – I’ve purchased Ravi Shankar recordings, they’re just not emblematic of who I feel like in this moment, or most moments, for that matter.)
You know who I love? Whose music always feels like: Yes! This makes me feel like Ruth – the Ruth I love & aspire to be! Don’t laugh, okay? Because I’m really going out on a limb here and showing my fantasy self (publicly for all of my two readers to see, but they don’t seem like the mocking type . . . I mean, Mom has never mocked me — yet another reason I’m grateful). It’s just that if you knew me, saw me walking around in the world – sitting at my desk creating excel spreadsheets (so very sincerely grateful for excel) – paying for groceries in the market – you would not think “hip rocker chic”. So for me to say that this is how I self-identify feels a little risky. Because who am I to claim to be cool? Andy hates it when I talk this way. God bless him. After all, I’m his chosen partner, so if I’m not cool then what does that say about him? Maybe I’m cooler than I think? (End of 8th grade monologue).
Where was I? Music that fits for the theme of gratitude . . . music that sounds good running through my thoughts . . . please standby while I grab the headphones. After all, it is now 4:41am.
Now I’m hunting for the right track . . . is the suspense killing you? Okay – I’m looking for the perfect Kings of Leon sample to show you. Kings are topping my list of music I’m grateful for today & have been since oh- last Thanksgiving when we drove in our rental car blasting their tunes through the gorgeous desert of New Mexico on the way to a picturesque family celebration at Andy’s parents’. So imagine seeing this:
And hearing . . . still trying to choose the track. The last time I looked up Kings on YouTube (so grateful for YouTube), my favorite recent clip (one with Caleb’s hair cut short so you can see his Adonis-like bone structure) looked as if it was shot with permission – on film w/ multi-angles & cranes & the usual markers of legit footage. It was a performance they did at the Reading Festival not long before we saw them at the Greek in Hollywood. Such a good show!
Now, as the tour has progressed, I see that YouTube (still grateful for it) is flooded with what looks like phone cam bootlegs. Oh my feelings are so mixed. I wonder what Caleb & the boys think about the bootlegs. Being the rule-follower-that I tend to be, I can’t in good conscience play what I know is a bootleg for you. At least not today.
So still looking for the right clip . . . ah-ah! 5:09am gratitude . . . Please join in with me in Thanking God For These Blessed, Blessed (sexy!), Talented Young Men known to the world as Kings of Leon:
Now this feels like a theme song!
High & Big on my List of Things that make me Most Grateful. What a way to start a day!
Happy Friday, everyone!
(Wish me luck getting 1 more hour of sleep before my WW meeting . . . very hip)