Let’s Embarrass my Entire Family


So my Holidailies streak is broken.

Wait. Think about the word “streak” from an ESL (English as a second language) perspective. Look at the nouns alone. And I thought learning Japanese was daunting. Hajimemashte.

We made it to DC. Staying in one of my favorite hotels. Our bathroom has three large windows. We can even see the Washington Monument from the toilet. I’ve peed on the Smithsonian before but never relieved myself with a view of America’s Phallic Wonder before this week.

Being in DC is sort of like a staycation since I spent 20 years living here. Who doesn’t love a staycation? Particularly one where — back up, you say? All right.

FAQs re: Peeing On the Smithsonian

Q. Which museum specifically?

A. The castle shaped one.

Q. Why?

A. Take one 17 year old under the influence of—too many liquids. Add three thousand other people waiting in two dozen 4th of July port-a-john lines and it’s rather natural, don’t you think?

Q. How?

A. You know how semi-subterranean windows have those ground level half moon dug-outs with drains? They’re screaming to be squatted over. So you can actually avoid streaking the building itself.

My superego is flailing right now. She’s completely out of control of this post. The other 66.6% of me is amused. It’s probably some federal offense, peeing on the Smithsonian. Stupid thing for me to brag about publicly. But I was a kid. And Reagan was president. Bad things happened all around.

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A free community writing project: Holidailies participants vow to update their personal web sites daily from Dec. 6-Jan. 5.

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