Ever or Ever Again


I will never look like Yael Naim.
I will never have absolute confidence.
I will never know if your ghost left that feather at the riverbank.
I will never be younger than 41 years 279 days.


I will never be able to, after this week, say I haven’t overdrawn my checking account.
I will never look down on people asking for coins.
I will never know what Lily-cat feels and thinks.
I will never have a good singing voice.


I will never have the anticipation of pulling the brown wrapper from her coffee table masterpiece.
I will never be a mother, or a father.
I will never look into your eyes looking down into mine.
I will never know the grief of having my offspring die.


I will never know the joy of hearing you say—- . . . anything.
I will never look at the cliffs of Big Sur for the first time.
I will never be sufficiently compassionate to always do the right thing.
I will never have enough gratitude for this horrible and vast richness.

4 thoughts on “Ever or Ever Again

  1. Beautiful, thought provoking and always sooo meaningful. Lara

    Apropos of alstroemeria memories, not your comment here: I love you, Lara. Thank you -R

  2. Roo,
    I love that you know yourself. I love that you can put this list together. You have a powerful gift that allows you to use a small amount of words and evoke so much emotion.
    Brilliant and beautiful.

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