23rd day of NaBloPoMo

I’m in a grumpy mood.

Yesterday, I heard from an old friend I haven’t gotten together with in more than a year. She’s having a bit of a crisis. What am I saying? It’s not “a bit” of one. She’s having a crisis. She asked me if I could help her figure out how to handle things.

I cleared my schedule for this morning and we agreed to meet at a shopping mall food court. Just as I arrived, I got a text from her apologizing. She wouldn’t be able to make it.

So there I was at the mall. A younger version of myself might have enjoyed being there. These days, I don’t shop. I don’t need things. My friends and family don’t need things. I rarely give gifts anymore (except to children). I don’t want to be a consumer; I want to be a creator.

But there I was in the mall.

I walked from one end to the other — I don’t know why. I think I was too irritated about the cancellation to immediately drive home. Once at the opposite end, I found the atmosphere so displeasing that I left the building and returned to my car via the sidewalk.

When I got home, I paid some bills and finally stopped putting off the chore of figuring out whether or not my health insurance will cover a mammogram. Between dental costs and office visit charges, it often feels like I have no insurance at all. I’m grateful to have access to the healthcare I receive, but —

Whine, whine. As one of my fellow blog-hooligans put it recently, if it weren’t for NaBloPoMo, I wouldn’t be blogging today at all.

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November — NaBloPoMo — Day Twenty-three

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