More Near Tweets (aka Twitter Methadone)


Too strapped for time to actually write (I know, I know, there’s no such thing), I’m sharing some more of my near-tweets. Remember the idea? As I mentioned last month, rather than tweeting every whim & fancy, I have begun typing my thoughts into the notepad on my phone. Here’s the latest batch.

  • “Burglar” is such an old fashioned word.
  • I don’t have time for a movie, but I’m tempted to stop by the theatre for some popcorn.
  • All dressing rooms should come equipped with wind machines to simulate traffic effects on outfits. #MuffinTopRevealed
  • This stretch of Pico always reminds me of how you used to complain about the condition of the roads in L.A.. I miss you.
  • Butternut squash soup with carrot apple juice. My whole lunch is ugly orange.
  • New rule: restaurant employees should avoid wearing scented lotions and sprays.
  • I’ve wised up — haven’t talked politics with my brother since 2004.
  • I will no longer be wasting time folding my underwear. Life is too short.
  • Do your cats perform spontaneously synchronized bathing like ours do?
  • Sentences my grandpa wouldn’t understand: I’m blogging my tweets.
  • Note to self: do not read The Economist’s story about rape around the world first thing in the morning.
  • When I wear stretch crop pants, I feel like The Hulk in David Banner’s slacks.


6 thoughts on “More Near Tweets (aka Twitter Methadone)

  1. “I will no longer be wasting time folding my underwear. Life is too short”…… hahahahahaaaa… u cracked me up!!… but yes i do get the intensity of the expression.
    even my parents wudnt get “blogging my tweets”…

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