More Near Tweets


  • I like the show Parenthood, but I’m constantly disagreeing with how the characters handle their issues.
  • The guy sitting alone next to me at this bar is kinda cute, but his phone is a Samsung. [?] Are phones the new cars?
  • Also, he just put a fork full of, like, seven fries in his mouth all at once. Gross.
  • Remember when black pepper was the new cilantro? What’s the next trend spice going to be?
  • Kale is not a spice.
  • An FB friends list isn’t complete ’til the park ranger who hiked miles w/ you @ sunset 2 locate your dropped car keys that one time finds u.
  • I love the crafty shape of ice cubes in downtown drinks.
  • “I don’t know who I am.”…. “Oh, we’re back to that again? No, not today.”
  • Oh my god. Is argyle really back?
  • Studying French makes my throat hurt.
  • I’m sick of the words “truly” and “quite” when added for emphasis.
  • Also, all uses of the word “tantamount”.
  • Probably shouldn’t work on a new look for my eyebrows while I’m sleep deprived.
  • My favorite password is weak. Not literally “weak”.  But, uh, you know, software is judgmental.
  • Happy hour in Manhattan Beach where the sun has taken its toll on all the patrons.
  • Eavesdropping on the couple next to me (clearly new lovers) as they compare cell phone hardware and service plans.
  • Exceptionally fantastic sunset. Truly quite tantamount to nothing.
  • I’m tired of characters magically sobering up in the next scene.
  • I just realized my place-mats are older than my niece — who is in college.
  • Book idea: texts-in-progress compiled from cell phones at car accidents. EMTs, get on it.
  • I’m afraid if I visit a psychic, the wrong ghost will show up & I’ll be like, I didn’t really pay $200 to talk to you, Grandma, sorry.
  • My phone just auto corrected “hair color” to “hair clot”. There’s an image I could have done without.
  • I hope this is a one way street; I’m on the left side of the road.
  • No, I’m not tweeting and driving.
  • I’ve never been inspired by people I’ve seen in department stores: selling or shopping.
  • A pub that plays Modest Mouse has my respect.


5 thoughts on “More Near Tweets

  1. Parenthood is a scream fest and the people I know who like it—not males, tend to yell as well.
    It makes my heart beat too fast and I have to leave the room.

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